Fresh out the kitchen:
Recently, I’ve been posting a lot less frequently than I would like to. This is largely due to me having less time on my hands. Juggling work, family, and friends is hard enough as it is, but life continues to get more complex.
I’m determined to not let the craziness of life get the best of me. I’ve had a lot more time to think and reflect about everything. My depression is largely influenced by the actions I incorporate in my daily routine. How I feel is reflected through my behaviors.
I’ve re-discovered the things that make life enjoyable for me and deliberately scheduled my day around them.
In the morning, I wake up early to workout, meditate, eat a delicious breakfast, and read my bible. My commute to work consists of listening to sermons in order to fuel my spiritual hunger. After my internship hours are over, it’s off to the gym for another workout and then the rest of my day consists of getting outside and hanging with my friends or catching up with my family.
God, family, friends, peace, love, exercise, and food. All of these things make life worth living for me.
I look back on this past year of school and realize that my struggles were partly due to the fact that I wasn’t receiving most of these things.
The excitement to grow more in my faith was nonexistent. I rarely ever saw my family. I often secluded myself from friends. Anger and sadness were always at the forefront of my emotions, and I rarely exercised with people other than myself.
As I reflect upon the life I’ve spent without my sister, I realize that my love for life slowly disappeared as her health declined.
So far, this summer has taught me that I have to re-learn how to enjoy life. In a metaphorical sense, I’m back to being a little kid; afraid of the monsters in my closet and underneath my bed. My curiosity is dormant and my emotions are unstable. I have to crawl before I walk, and walk before I run. Looks like it's back to the basics.
The process hasn’t been easy, but the burden on my heart becomes a little lighter every day.
Here’s to the days ahead.