For some odd reason, I always had the impression that when I turned 18 some kind of special golden gate would open and I’d have some huge epiphany about life. Yet here I am, a freshly new young adult, as I just recently had my 18th birthday and the feeling is quite surreal. Honestly, if there’s any emotion attached to the milestone of age 18 for me, its anxiety.
I am now legally an adult, and many conditions, positive and negative, come with this 2-digit number. Actually, scratch that, - it’s not really positive/negative, I guess it’s just more realistic responsibilities; then the way you perceive these responsibilities and how you take them on will produce positives or negatives.
You know, the more I ponder about this new adult chapter the more I think it solely revolves around your perception. And currently my perception is consumed by loads and loads of pressure. Everything seems so structured and urgent. I just personally feel there is so much to do and expected from me now. Although, knowing myself, I am most likely responsible for adding so much emphasis onto this, so called, “terrifying adulthood”
On a side note though, I do feel somewhat estranged to feeling anxious about this “powerful” 2-digit number. Most people are excited and rushing towards adulthood. And it’s not that I’m instead unamused for this “freeing” chapter, it’s more that I feel I am putting forth more focus onto just enjoying time now and taking my growth slow – along with getting caught up in my overwhelming perception though, I’m struggling to really enjoy this new milestone.
I could go on and on about taking life slow to savor the moments. My mind if full of similar tangents and I have so much I want to say; but the point is I’m now an adult and I’m currently learning to not be so scared of that. I feel very intimidated by these 2-digits although a bittersweet chapter lies ahead.