Withdrawal Pt.2

Withdrawal Pt.2

My social life, personal life, and work life have all been affected. To the point I’ve had to call off work, waste my day away in bed, and irritate those around me from being on such edge. There are times I get so dizzy and nauseous I can’t even operate my own car for the safety of myself and others. Just the other day while driving with my boyfriend running an errand, I looked over and said, “I feel dizzy”…

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Withdrawal

Withdrawal

Well folks, I’ve been off my antidepressants for just about 2 weeks now; and I can straight up tell you it’s been hell. Antidepressant discontinuation syndrome: a condition that can occur following the interruption, dose reduction, or discontinuation of antidepressant drugs, including selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) or serotonin–norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). The symptoms can include flu-like symptoms and disturbances in sleep, senses, movement, mood, and thinking. —Thanks, google. So, hi, hello, it’s me, Grace, and I’m currently going through withdrawal. Withdrawal. A…

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The Open Road

The Open Road

My hands on the wheel grip tighter. My foot slowly pushes down on the gas. My eyes track the speedometer as it rises. 20, 30, 40. The moonlight illuminates the open road as rows of corn pass by. Dark thoughts begin to fill my head. What is the point of moving forward? What does tomorrow have to offer me? Why is the pain becoming unbearable? My foot continues to press down. 50, 60, 70. Why am I hurting so much?…

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Proceeding To Stability

Proceeding To Stability

I have been on antidepressants for over 4 years and I am now proud to say that I am finally coming off them for good. I feel as though I am in a good place and have learned how to use different coping mechanisms and skills to my advantage for any future depressive episodes. Therefore, I’ve decided it was time to cut back on my dosage until the pills were gone for good. In my opinion, the process for getting…

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Help Me Trust: A Poem

Help Me Trust: A Poem

I fall Lost and alone Searching for my home Drifting further away From the noise everyday I see Light shining down But blocked by the sound Hidden from the heart And present from the start I know Watching over me Still drifting at sea Unsure of what to do Unsure of how to move I cry Darkness closing in Wrapped up in the sin Treading to fall Too heavy to crawl I pray Please help me escape This prison when…

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Bad Day

Bad Day

It’s been a long time my friend. I am completely disoriented by your presence. I have no idea how or why you showed up tonight but undesired memories of us continued to consume my brain. I didn’t ever wish to see you again. But you tend to show up uninvited at the most inconvenient times. Maybe it was the pills that lured you back; or maybe the foreign setting triggered your attention. Though besides the “why” you decided to come visit tonight; I…

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Running the Race

Running the Race

My aunt Ruth once said that, “People who have died are cheering for us in heaven.” This statement resonated with me. It was a beautiful personification of the journey we all take in life. When I heard this, I immediately pictured a marathon scene. I looked down to see myself taking strides towards the finish line. As I rounded the last turn, I could see the people that I have lost cheering from the sidelines. My body was filled with…

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A Past Teacher

A Past Teacher

I wrote this last semester and recently found it in a clutter of word documents. While in my philosophy class this morning, my teacher was giving a lecture, and although I didn’t comprehend the topic to well, (ADHD at its finest), I did comprehend something intriguing. I’ve noticed before that my philosophy teacher was incredibly passionate about the subject from the way his voice fluctuated with excitement and his face lit up when students showed interest and asked questions. So,…

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Starlight Remixes by Jai Wolf

Starlight Remixes by Jai Wolf

For some reason, I sometimes feel like it’s just me against the world. Like people don’t understand me or my thoughts or my ambitions or my dreams. And after a lot of reflection, I’ve realized that they don’t. I mean, in reality no one does. People can only understand you through their own perceptions and experiences in life. No one knows you better than yourself. No one can see into your mind. No one can truly understand your weaknesses, strengths,…

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Are We All Being Misunderstood?

Are We All Being Misunderstood?

Misunderstand. How funny of a word. I think it’s ironic how misunderstood the word “misunderstand” is. The definition of misunderstand is to, “fail to interpret or understand (something) correctly.” So when we misunderstand something, we fail to grasp it completely. I like to think about the word “misunderstand” in the context of how people view one another. The truth is that we can’t understand someone’s inner self. There is a balance that can be reached, but all too often we like…

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